I Don't Feel Like A Mum
Now, let me start this post off by saying that I am absolutely, completely and utterly besotted with my babies. I love them so intensely it hurts but I don't feel like a mum.
I guess the reason I don't feel like a mum is because I let my imagination run wild pre-pregnancy. I wanted to be a mum for so so long that I had created an image in my mind of how I and things would change when I was one. That image was so strong and was there for so long that I am struggling to shake it off.
I almost feel like I'm babysitting the boys for someone else and soon they will be taken back... Of course they won't be - they're mine but I just don't feel like they are mine?
It sound crazy, I know. The feelings I had were so unrealistic but now they are here and I haven't felt them feelings, I don't 'feel' like a mum.
Not feeling like one doesn't matter though because I am one.
I guess the reason I don't feel like a mum is because I let my imagination run wild pre-pregnancy. I wanted to be a mum for so so long that I had created an image in my mind of how I and things would change when I was one. That image was so strong and was there for so long that I am struggling to shake it off.
I almost feel like I'm babysitting the boys for someone else and soon they will be taken back... Of course they won't be - they're mine but I just don't feel like they are mine?
It sound crazy, I know. The feelings I had were so unrealistic but now they are here and I haven't felt them feelings, I don't 'feel' like a mum.
Not feeling like one doesn't matter though because I am one.
I am a mum to the 2 most beautiful boys in the world and no one is going to take that away from me.
I can relate to this. Up to the 1st 8 weeks of my son being a newborn, I said constantly to my other half 'doesn't feel like he's ours' and the whole babysitting thing too I felt like that too. But for me it was such disbelief that this little perfert baby was actually ours. Took me along time to get head round it. Even now 16months on I feel sometimes I don't 'mumsy' enough! Good luck and what ur feeling now will pass. I love following ur instagram & reading ur blogs.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this. Up to the 1st 8 weeks of my son being a newborn, I said constantly to my other half 'doesn't feel like he's ours' and the whole babysitting thing too I felt like that too. But for me it was such disbelief that this little perfert baby was actually ours. Took me along time to get head round it. Even now 16months on I feel sometimes I don't 'mumsy' enough! Good luck and what ur feeling now will pass. I love following ur instagram & reading ur blogs.
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